Since the beginning of time, things have been awkward or boring. Then after alcohol was discovered, things drastically improved. Sadly, quickly after that groundbreaking discovery, another terrible one came, events that discouraged boozing. No longer could drink at funerals, church, or even elementary school. Or could you?

This is where you realize that you’ve stepped into trend two of the growing Don’t Call it a Comeback series. The solution to your sober situation in third grade geography class is the flask.

Wood flask courtesy of Julia Davis

The original flask was likely made of wood, which means loss of liquor to porousness and splinters (it is wood). Mucho Oucho.

After great innovations, we’ve inched closer and closer to the flask you might now have at your side. Now they come in a much more convenient metal casing. This flask can be hidden in your pocket for opportune times to Irish up your coffee or Brazil up your sugar-lime water.

Even better are the newest formations of the flask. They can come in any shape, especially if that shape can be hollowed out.

Even a beer bottle could be a flask I guess.

My favorites, however, are both in my current collection. While I don’t have a Garfield flask or even a Super Mario Bros. Question Mark Box, I do have these nifty binoculars ones that can hold liquor in one side and soda in the other, OR, liquor in one side and more liquor in the other side. See this flask, buy this flask.

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Your grandfather had the pocket-watch (Don’t Call it a Comeback nominee) and grandfather clocks (obviously). Your mom had Swiss-Army watches and the metal-banded, beginner-bling Rolex. Your annoying sister had the Casio calculator watch. You, what do you have? They say size matters, and in some cases, smaller is better. This is one of those cases. You, lucky you, have the ring watch.
Fashion is always calling for accessories like purses, necklaces, and shoes, but who wants to wear a silly key on a chain or Kanye’s new hideous Louis Vuitton shoe? These ring watches are rings and on top of that, they’re watches. That’s two birds, one ring. It’s the most practical thing you can put on your finger, outside of maybe a bottle opener ring, but that won’t tell you what time happy hour even starts.

Major thanks to Julia Davis for this illustration

Scenario: You’re in Hong Kong. You want to call your boy, Vladimir Putin in Moscow, right now, to tell him about a secret Matt Miller concert that may not have happened yet in New York. Your grandpa Morty, mom Carol, and sister Gertrude didn’t have the technology to answer that, but you do. Just throw on your rings and you’re more than set.
This is why I submit the ring watch as the first entrant to “Don’t Call it a Comeback,” our returning to the spotlight trend tracker.